Reflection

Boy do things change! In these past two years I have brought another loving boy into this world, am one semester away from getting my Associates degree, went through my first deployment, just bought a house, and may be embarking on a new exciting fitness journey I never would have imagined. I feel accomplished and empowered by the things that I have learned. Writing it down is a realization that positive change has occurred in my life and I wasn’t even aware of it. The world we live in is so fast paced that we forget to take a breath and reflect.

Here is my reflection:

I have grown as a wife, as a mom, but most importantly as an individual. I have put myself in places that are outside of my comfort zone and have excelled. I have accepted who I am and the things that I can actually control. I am the mother of two boys who are just pure joy to be around. While being a mother can be quite hectic, I have found a way to incorporate them in everything I do. I have chosen to not limit them and let them explore the world that they live in. I have also built an unbreakable bond with the man I am so lucky to call my husband. Support goes both ways with us and communication is happy hour. I am far from where I want to be, but even if I never get there, I get to live this life with the three men that I love and a whole bunch of fulfillment.

Disclosure: Getting here was not at all easy. What came with it was a lot of hair loss, breakouts, tears (whether it be sad or happy), laughter, accomplishments, questions, doubts, anger, and more. It is all a part of life and sometimes the lows brings about the highs in life. One day at a time and small goals to get to where you want to be. My mind and my thoughts are all a part of the roller coaster ride that I physically refuse to get on.

It All Started With...

I believe everything starts with a thought or idea. From there, it is our choice to turn it into a reality or to just keep it in our minds. People invent things everyday or use an idea that they see or hear of and perfect it. Almost all the time these developments are harmless. It is when you have malicious intent that it becomes dangerous and life threatening. For example, sitting in a lab class, which requires you to mix chemicals, you are taught to take precaution when mixing fluids because it may "blow up". Well, some people may find the thought quite thrilling and I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious myself to see how it happens. Now, only few of these people will try and experiment with it and from there a small portion of those will do enough damage to get a special appearance in the newspaper.

What happened in Boston some countries experience everyday. It only takes one with a sick mind to want to make a stamp for others to copy the act or do worse. Unfortunately, people are killed everyday. Not all make it to the news but it is the fact of the matter. No amount of control is going to bring these devastating series of events to a minimum. This is the reality we live in.

I am not surprised at what I see or read in the news anymore. If I allow it to affect me in anyway or fear leaving my home then I am not living life to its full potential. I am a military wife and I knew when my husband made the choice to join the armed forces everything would be on the line. We know to live for today and to live for the moment because we do not know what tomorrow can bring.

Ink

Ink...not even white out can erase the mark that hides underneath. Many of us use ink as a form of expression. Art is what you may call it. It can be on paper, canvass, walls, skin, etc.. I love ink but my art is not a drawing. My art is an image in my head that stays personal to me and only me. In my mind I formulate a picture that my hands do not know how to translate, but then again why would I want it to. No one can see what I have done nor critic something that has meaning to me. It remains pure and untouched. No Who? What? When? Where? Why?. This is just how I like it.

Why must we judge the ink? It makes you and it molds you. It gives an insight to who you are. We make the decision of putting something so permanent on our body because it has meaning. We don't care what people think or what they are going to say. If it bothers them they can look away. Do we do it to be cool or to follow a trend?

The day I got my tattoo was not planned. I got out of work and met my boyfriend, who is now my husband, he wanted a tattoo of a compass on his chest. Prior to that, we discussed if I were to get one what would it be of. A Lioness. Part of the reason behind it was my maiden name Leon, which translates to Lion, and the other reason was instead of getting a lazy masculine Lion on my body I wanted the prideful respected protector. My main characteristics are that of a Lioness. When I got pregnant I really fell in love with my body art. It is positioned in a way that it is watching over my womb. Something so precious to me. I made a great decision with this one.

To sum it all up, I got a tattoo because I was living in the moment. I made sure that what I got was going to be something I was proud of and had meaning. This was ink that I now have on display to the world. If you want to judge me go right ahead. If you do not like it just look away. I did not do it to be cool or to follow a trend. I made a choice and one I am proud of.